Family Vacations. Ahhhhhhhhhhh. Not. 

Usually when I think family vacation, I don't think, ahhhhhhhhhhhh. Maybe it's me. We don't family vacation the "resort" way. You know, in a hotel, where other's cook the food, make the beds, clean the rooms when you're away and leave fresh towels. We've mostly camped to and from our destinations, or stayed with extended family and friends. I adore my friends and family, but since when is staying in someone else's house or a campsite a vacation for a mother? 

And really, is there such a thing as Family Vacation? A vacation is "a period of time devoted to pleasure, rest, or relaxation... suspending activities" according to thefreedictionary.com. It also says that family means,  "all members of a household... who have long-term commitments to each other". I think that vacations should also add, "being away from home" otherwise, it's a party, not a vacation. By definition, so far, a family vacation is long-term committed members of a household sharing a period of time, suspending regular routines away from home, devoted to pleasure, rest, or relaxation. "Family Vacation" seems like an oxymoron by that definition. Much of the time, a family with children isn't restful or relaxing. And some of what goes on with families is needful, helpful, and satisfying but not necessarily pleasurable. There's more to "family" vacations. 

Vacations are sometimes called "escapes" because of the pleasure seeking priority. We go on family vacations because of the people we're going with. Our intention is to be with them, not to escape them for the sake of pleasure. Those are different types of vacations. We want to strengthen our familial relationships, that's the point. With this in mind, family vacation can be define as long-term, committed members of a household sharing a period of time, suspending regular routines away from home, devoted to emotionally fortifying kinship through pleasure, rest, or relaxation.

Why define "family vacation" anyway? Because definitions help clarify the meaning of something, which in turn, helps in the carrying out of something. Understanding the real purpose at the beginning of a family vacation makes all the difference about how you feel at the end of the family vacation. The reason will help guide everything around picking, preparing, and the process of being together. 

It took me a while to get to the stage of enjoying family members on family vacations. It seems like an obvious distinction "family" vacation but in the family fray it was lost to me. Remembering that the whole point of the time together should be "devoted to emotionally fortifying kinship" guides me in a whole different way. A way that makes family vacations more awwwwwwwww than ughhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Watch for part 2 tomorrow.

Today was round 3 of the engagement photos I've taken for my children. I'm not a photographer but I'm artsy and a DIY-er and I'm pretty cheap, like, free for them. So it works. Plus they get to tell me what they want. Sometimes they get it. Here's a photo of each couple.  

Here's the tip I want to contribute in photographing out of doors - watch for snakes. Unless of course you like them. Which I don't . Especially those inches from me. Luckily we had enough photos because that killed my creativity.

In the last photo, it shows a moment in which my daughter is mine in name only. I have never picked up a snake in my life. Never intend to. I do the screaming and jumping away. That's my job. Oh, and cropping, color correcting and coming up with engagement photos.

Here's a little DIY wedding idea...

At many weddings not everyone can see what the couple are doing when they cut the cake. So I thought of the idea to put the mirror behind the cake to improve the view of the couple for the guests. Look past the couple you see the mirror** to the less obvious. I didn't realize, until looking at the photos, that you would be able see what the guests are doing. I love the looks on those kids faces - utter confusion and delight. And you can also see a little of the photographer. I like it. You might like to do something similar sometime and catch all the action going on.

**The mirror I picked up at a local Cameron antique shop for Christmas, for the daughter above. It was a great deal at $35. She painted the frame white, then used a robin's egg blue wash over it. It turned out beautiful. 

Mini Methods • Well Fed: My kids are always "starving" when they get home. So I have made a habit to have food for them right when they get home. Sometimes it's dinner sometimes a snack. This serves a couple purposes. 

1) There is something mentally soothing to people when they walk in and smell something cooking. 
2) Hunger is a great motivator and they automatically know and are put at ease that they are going to eat. 

Their needs are met timely and they are more grateful for their food. It's not a perfect science but this is how I generally do it. Days I am going to be gone all day I put something in the dutch oven to be done when we all get home. Otherwise I either prep something in the morning or an hour before they're due home. On emergency days, something unexpected happens, those are cereal days. They don't get cereal often so they love this too.

This is my Basic Pattern for managing my kids - 
Well Fed + Well Rested + Well Moderated = Well Tempered
(temperament = an child's disposition and tendencies revealed in his/her reactions)
Well tempered children have developed habits of maintaining a self-controlled, calm character. 
Take one of those elements out of the equation and a child (or even teens and adults) 
are prone to crankiness, anger, and outbursts.  If they are continually revisiting their basic needs (because they are continually hungry, tired, or left unattended) it's tough for them to go to the next level and work at trying to master other social sensibilities (sharing, sadness, sacrifice) that we want them to learn. Meeting the Basic Pattern helps the child move forward in their self management of emotions. Next time something comes up with your kids 
see if the equation is adding up.