One act. Three seconds. Twelve times. Equals 36 seconds a day. What’s the magic moment? A hug.

According to family therapist Virginia Satir, “The recommended daily requirement for hugs is: 4 per day for survival, 8 per day for maintenance, and 12 per day for growth.” A family’s emotional fitness can be aided by a mere 36 seconds a day.

But, the real trick, says neuroeconomist Paul J. Zak, is that the hug has to be associated with a “signal of trust”.  Having some sign of confidence in the relationship, or potential connection, accompanied with the hug insures moods more at peace, security increased, and stress released.

Efforts can be made to remind us, and family members, of the 36-second hug habit. To strengthen the attachment process and hug therapy in your home I made 2 versions of the Hugs & Kisses Kit. (I threw in the kisses for good measure.) The idea is that the kit has chocolate candies and every time one is taken out, then a hug has to be given to someone as ‘payment’. The kit really isn’t necessary, just a fun reminder to get your family counting and keeping track of heart healthy hugs.

Here are a few other times to wrap your head (and arms) around.

            • hug in morning
            • hug at night
            • hug to greet
            • hug to congratulate
            • hug to warm
            • hug to protect
            • hug to connect
            • hug to apologize
            • hug to energize
            • hug to support
            • hug to strengthen
            • hug to surprise

Thirty six seconds to increase family fitness of heart and mind. Do you have the time today?

Get the DIY downloadable here @ Idaho Women's Journal for $2. 
There's a crafty version and a quick version. I had the quick version of the Hugs & Kisses glass jar out during a party and there were hugs everywhere. 
Try it out in your home and let me know how you like it.

1) Do acknowledge them
          Hello. 
          Talk to them when they come in. Show some interest. Get to know them. 

2) Do show respect
          Grow up.
          Kids want to be treated like an adult, this is one area in which that works.

3) Do provide food
          Yum.
          Food always works. Feed them. Even let them have access to the kitchen.

4) Do be some fun
          Duh.
          Do something unexpected from the normal routine. Be a little playful.

5) Do avoid confrontations
          Yield.
          This isn't the time to correct your kid. Do that later, where you can discuss.

6) Do remember them
          Notice.
          Names, siblings, & unique things about them. Also, how your kid knows them.

7) Do make it peaceful
          Zen.
          An environment that's void of contention makes a place people want to be.

8) Do leave a little space
          Exit.
          Give them some room. Not the bedroom. But, some talking space to be private.

9) Do like them
          Enjoy. 
          Everyone has annoyances. Overlook them. See what your kid sees. Be open.

10) Do keep long hours
          Nap.
          It doesn't have to be 'open all night' but kids like late nights. Especially weekends.

Bonus: Do treat them like family
          Include.
          Everyone wants to belong. Somewhere. Make it you and yours that they think of as 'family' when they need to connect. How you interaction with your kid's friends, and your kid, will benefit everyone.

What do you do?