One act. Three seconds. Twelve times. Equals 36 seconds a day. What’s the magic moment? A hug.

According to family therapist Virginia Satir, “The recommended daily requirement for hugs is: 4 per day for survival, 8 per day for maintenance, and 12 per day for growth.” A family’s emotional fitness can be aided by a mere 36 seconds a day.

But, the real trick, says neuroeconomist Paul J. Zak, is that the hug has to be associated with a “signal of trust”.  Having some sign of confidence in the relationship, or potential connection, accompanied with the hug insures moods more at peace, security increased, and stress released.

Efforts can be made to remind us, and family members, of the 36-second hug habit. To strengthen the attachment process and hug therapy in your home I made 2 versions of the Hugs & Kisses Kit. (I threw in the kisses for good measure.) The idea is that the kit has chocolate candies and every time one is taken out, then a hug has to be given to someone as ‘payment’. The kit really isn’t necessary, just a fun reminder to get your family counting and keeping track of heart healthy hugs.

Here are a few other times to wrap your head (and arms) around.

            • hug in morning
            • hug at night
            • hug to greet
            • hug to congratulate
            • hug to warm
            • hug to protect
            • hug to connect
            • hug to apologize
            • hug to energize
            • hug to support
            • hug to strengthen
            • hug to surprise

Thirty six seconds to increase family fitness of heart and mind. Do you have the time today?

Get the DIY downloadable here @ Idaho Women's Journal for $2. 
There's a crafty version and a quick version. I had the quick version of the Hugs & Kisses glass jar out during a party and there were hugs everywhere. 
Try it out in your home and let me know how you like it.

1) Do acknowledge them
          Hello. 
          Talk to them when they come in. Show some interest. Get to know them. 

2) Do show respect
          Grow up.
          Kids want to be treated like an adult, this is one area in which that works.

3) Do provide food
          Yum.
          Food always works. Feed them. Even let them have access to the kitchen.

4) Do be some fun
          Duh.
          Do something unexpected from the normal routine. Be a little playful.

5) Do avoid confrontations
          Yield.
          This isn't the time to correct your kid. Do that later, where you can discuss.

6) Do remember them
          Notice.
          Names, siblings, & unique things about them. Also, how your kid knows them.

7) Do make it peaceful
          Zen.
          An environment that's void of contention makes a place people want to be.

8) Do leave a little space
          Exit.
          Give them some room. Not the bedroom. But, some talking space to be private.

9) Do like them
          Enjoy. 
          Everyone has annoyances. Overlook them. See what your kid sees. Be open.

10) Do keep long hours
          Nap.
          It doesn't have to be 'open all night' but kids like late nights. Especially weekends.

Bonus: Do treat them like family
          Include.
          Everyone wants to belong. Somewhere. Make it you and yours that they think of as 'family' when they need to connect. How you interaction with your kid's friends, and your kid, will benefit everyone.

What do you do?

1. Don't try to be cool.
           Awkward.
           And painful. It never works when a parent tries to be cool.

2. Don't compete.
           Loser.
           You lose when you make it about competing with your kid. Join a ball team. 
3. Don't make fun. 
           Ever.
           Never use your kid (or their friends) as the punch line for a joke. Laugh at      
           something else.
4. Don't always jump in.            
            Know-it-all.
            Let them figure a few things out. You don't always have to share the answers.
5. Don't look for friends. 
            Creepy.
            Don't make your kids friends your friends. On FB or at home. Find your own.
6. Don't be pushy.            
            Bully.
            It doesn't have to be my way or the high way. Let some things ride.
7. Don't be fake.            
            Phony.            
            Embrace & express who you are & be authentic. No need to use a bull horn.
8. Don't take over the conversation.
            Windbag.
            Be a small part of the conversation, don't be the conversation. Sometimes, 
            don't even talk.
9. Don't be sensual.
            Ewe.
            Do I even need to say anything? Sadly, yes. Turn your sexual brain off. Period.
10. Don't try to outshine.
            Diva.
            The spotlight shouldn't be on you or how you feel. Your kid is the star.
       Bonus: Don't embarrass.
            Jerk. 
            This isn't about you. Then, again, it's all about you. Kids don't want to be embarrassed at all costs. You have the power to make sure that doesn't happen to them, or their friends. Make them comfortable, and keep them coming around. You won't end up being the jerk parent, or any of the above kind either.

I did this around Father's Day so the girls could have a chance to focus on their relationship with their Dad if they wanted to. Since it's close to Father's Day I thought I'd share it with you. 

This activity lasts two weeks so I gave simple suggestions of what they can do to interact each day. Some of the activities are 
     Day #7 Make a treat for this person, 
     Day #11 Text a nice comment to this person, 
     Day #2 Find out their favorites, 
     Day #8 Talk about your favorite things to do in Summer.

I designed these into 1/4 sheet handouts. They can put it on a ring to help them remember. I call it The Ring Thing™. I've made several for different topics to go on the Ring Thing which I'll share periodically. Here's a photo of my Ring Thing. 

Here's a PDF to download if you'd like to use it for some activity you have. It's a black and white PDF that you can print onto colored paper. Then you can cut it into 1/4 sheets.

Start off with a clear pencil box, the long ones found in WalMarts & Targets. (It's about 13" long)

Then download the label and print on a legal size paper. (I've left the name off and your content area blank on the templates.)

I use a paper cutter to cut the printed label.

Fill the kit. Here are the contents for this classroom emergency kit. (But add whatever you'd like.)

30 light stick bracelets • 1 large black trash bag • 2 small trash bags • 2 packages of tissues • 2 sticky note pads • 2 ink pens • 1 paper tablet • 1 small red sharpie • 1 large black sharpie • 1 lighter • 4 bullnose clips • 4 thick rubber bands • 1 bottle hand sanitizer • 1 spray hand sanitizer • 2 hand warmers • 16 wipes • 13 tie wraps • 10 safety pins - You could fill it with anything really

Here are the downloads below, in several versions for legal size paper (8.5" x 11").

When my daughter Alisha was almost due with her baby, I was invited to the baby shower given by her school co-workers. We had planned a family/friend shower and I already had a gift in mind for baby Caeden to give then. So, for this shower I wanted to give a gift that would be fun for her. But, of course I waited until the day of - nothing like a little self-imposed pressure to get the creativity going.

Trying to think of something, I mentally went back to my baby hospital stays and remembered that after deliveries I was always starving. My friends would then smuggle in a burger or pizza – contraband. Then I thought, “What if you planned for the contraband before going into the hospital?” As a result, I came up with the idea of a Hospital Contraband Kit.

The Hospital Contraband Kit is a clear make-up bag with a printed label inserted inside that is then filled with personally tailored contents. For my daughter, I chose chocolate contraband and she loved it!  Shortly after that, another friend’s daughter had her baby. It was Christmas Eve afternoon and I didn’t want to fight any crowds at the stores. I remembered that I had an extra make-up bag and quickly printed the label then headed out the door. On my way, I stopped at a convenience store (more expensive but worth it to miss the Christmas chaos) to pick up the contraband. It was a pretty effortless gift and she thought it was great.

Here are the fast and easy steps for you to put together your own kit. Print. Fold. Fill.

   #1 Print the free download   #2 Fold on the printed lines    #3 Fill with 1 of 3 options    

You don't really need to get sick to have or make one. Here are the different things you can put inside.

To Do -
• Print - PDF Download on 8.5 x 11 white cardstock
• Fold - printout on light grey lines
• Buy - clear make-up bag approx $6 (Modella Brand WalMart)
• Buy - contents, your choice
• Fill - and give 

So, what  would you put in a Hospital Contraband Kit?