Family Fitness in 36 Seconds
One act. Three seconds. Twelve times. Equals 36 seconds a day. What’s the magic moment? A hug.
According to family therapist Virginia Satir, “The recommended daily requirement for hugs is: 4 per day for survival, 8 per day for maintenance, and 12 per day for growth.” A family’s emotional fitness can be aided by a mere 36 seconds a day.
But, the real trick, says neuroeconomist Paul J. Zak, is that the hug has to be associated with a “signal of trust”. Having some sign of confidence in the relationship, or potential connection, accompanied with the hug insures moods more at peace, security increased, and stress released.
Efforts can be made to remind us, and family members, of the 36-second hug habit. To strengthen the attachment process and hug therapy in your home I made 2 versions of the Hugs & Kisses Kit. (I threw in the kisses for good measure.) The idea is that the kit has chocolate candies and every time one is taken out, then a hug has to be given to someone as ‘payment’. The kit really isn’t necessary, just a fun reminder to get your family counting and keeping track of heart healthy hugs.
Here are a few other times to wrap your head (and arms) around.
• hug in morning
• hug at night
• hug to greet
• hug to congratulate
• hug to warm
• hug to protect
• hug to connect
• hug to apologize
• hug to energize
• hug to support
• hug to strengthen
• hug to surprise
Thirty six seconds to increase family fitness of heart and mind. Do you have the time today?
Get the DIY downloadable here @ Idaho Women's Journal for $2.
There's a crafty version and a quick version. I had the quick version of the Hugs & Kisses glass jar out during a party and there were hugs everywhere.
Try it out in your home and let me know how you like it.
1) Do acknowledge them
Talk to them when they come in. Show some interest. Get to know them.
2) Do show respect
Kids want to be treated like an adult, this is one area in which that works.
3) Do provide food
Food always works. Feed them. Even let them have access to the kitchen.
4) Do be some fun
Do something unexpected from the normal routine. Be a little playful.
5) Do avoid confrontations
This isn't the time to correct your kid. Do that later, where you can discuss.
6) Do remember them
Names, siblings, & unique things about them. Also, how your kid knows them.
7) Do make it peaceful
An environment that's void of contention makes a place people want to be.
8) Do leave a little space
Give them some room. Not the bedroom. But, some talking space to be private.
9) Do like them
Everyone has annoyances. Overlook them. See what your kid sees. Be open.
10) Do keep long hours
It doesn't have to be 'open all night' but kids like late nights. Especially weekends.
Bonus: Do treat them like family
Everyone wants to belong. Somewhere. Make it you and yours that they think of as 'family' when they need to connect. How you interaction with your kid's friends, and your kid, will benefit everyone.
What do you do?
10 Don'ts When Interacting with Your Teen's Friends
1. Don't try to be cool.
And painful. It never works when a parent tries to be cool.
2. Don't compete.
You lose when you make it about competing with your kid. Join a ball team.
3. Don't make fun.
Never use your kid (or their friends) as the punch line for a joke. Laugh at
4. Don't always jump in.
Let them figure a few things out. You don't always have to share the answers.
5. Don't look for friends.
Don't make your kids friends your friends. On FB or at home. Find your own.
6. Don't be pushy.
It doesn't have to be my way or the high way. Let some things ride.
7. Don't be fake.
Embrace & express who you are & be authentic. No need to use a bull horn.
8. Don't take over the conversation.
Be a small part of the conversation, don't be the conversation. Sometimes,
don't even talk.
9. Don't be sensual.
Do I even need to say anything? Sadly, yes. Turn your sexual brain off. Period.
10. Don't try to outshine.
The spotlight shouldn't be on you or how you feel. Your kid is the star.
Bonus: Don't embarrass.
This isn't about you. Then, again, it's all about you. Kids don't want to be embarrassed at all costs. You have the power to make sure that doesn't happen to them, or their friends. Make them comfortable, and keep them coming around. You won't end up being the jerk parent, or any of the above kind either.
What other "don't" would you add to the list?