Family Vacations. Ahhhhhhhhhhh. Not. 

Usually when I think family vacation, I don't think, ahhhhhhhhhhhh. Maybe it's me. We don't family vacation the "resort" way. You know, in a hotel, where other's cook the food, make the beds, clean the rooms when you're away and leave fresh towels. We've mostly camped to and from our destinations, or stayed with extended family and friends. I adore my friends and family, but since when is staying in someone else's house or a campsite a vacation for a mother? 

And really, is there such a thing as Family Vacation? A vacation is "a period of time devoted to pleasure, rest, or relaxation... suspending activities" according to thefreedictionary.com. It also says that family means,  "all members of a household... who have long-term commitments to each other". I think that vacations should also add, "being away from home" otherwise, it's a party, not a vacation. By definition, so far, a family vacation is long-term committed members of a household sharing a period of time, suspending regular routines away from home, devoted to pleasure, rest, or relaxation. "Family Vacation" seems like an oxymoron by that definition. Much of the time, a family with children isn't restful or relaxing. And some of what goes on with families is needful, helpful, and satisfying but not necessarily pleasurable. There's more to "family" vacations. 

Vacations are sometimes called "escapes" because of the pleasure seeking priority. We go on family vacations because of the people we're going with. Our intention is to be with them, not to escape them for the sake of pleasure. Those are different types of vacations. We want to strengthen our familial relationships, that's the point. With this in mind, family vacation can be define as long-term, committed members of a household sharing a period of time, suspending regular routines away from home, devoted to emotionally fortifying kinship through pleasure, rest, or relaxation.

Why define "family vacation" anyway? Because definitions help clarify the meaning of something, which in turn, helps in the carrying out of something. Understanding the real purpose at the beginning of a family vacation makes all the difference about how you feel at the end of the family vacation. The reason will help guide everything around picking, preparing, and the process of being together. 

It took me a while to get to the stage of enjoying family members on family vacations. It seems like an obvious distinction "family" vacation but in the family fray it was lost to me. Remembering that the whole point of the time together should be "devoted to emotionally fortifying kinship" guides me in a whole different way. A way that makes family vacations more awwwwwwwww than ughhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Watch for part 2 tomorrow.

My 14 year old son put on his first teen party a couple of weeks ago. Both he and I thought it was successful. But here are other comments, the ones that matter, for some Facebook social proof that it was indeed fun -  

     • G.E. "Awesome party, we need to do it again sometime." 
     • K. A. "Heck yes we do."
     • K.S. "I had fun at [his] party, he needs to do it again this month." 
     • S.W. "...this was an amazing party, thanks for inviting me." 
     • D.S. "Great party... you have to do it again sometime."     
     • J.F. "Easily the best party ever, I thank you and your parents." 

For a teen, putting on a party puts him/her in a vulnerable position. They are setting themselves up for judgement from their peers. That can be stressful, especially if you don't know what to do. Since my son's party turned out to be fun (and my other's children's parties as well) I thought I'd share some of the behind-the-scene party plan so that you and your teen can have confidence in putting on a party of your own. 

Invite small groups of friends but those groups don't have to be friends. This way the kids feel... 
     1) comfortable because they know someone else that is going to the party and can arrive together, 
     2) it's not a clique because it's not all one group and 
     3) they will have a chance to meet other kids that they my know by sight but have never had a chance to talk to or interact together.

Teach your teen how to host their guests. It doesn't have to feel formal but there are some formalities that will help their friends feel comfortable. They need to learn tips to be able to... 
     1) smile, and not be stressed but relaxed and enjoy the party, no one likes an uptight host or parents, 
     2) know how to introduce each other, tell them thanks for coming and that you're glad they're there, 
     3) carry the conversation, in the beginning, when there are not too many people (see photo below) and so they don't leave their friends in awkward silence.

It's a no brainer to have lots of food but ask other's to bring something they like. That way they will... 
     1) have one thing they for sure like at the party 
     2) it will make them feel 'invested' in the party and that they 'have' to go when they might feel a little nervous about going, 
     3) it helps with the cost, especially if your house turns into the "party house".

Once you get the kids there, you ought to have a loose plan of what will fill the time. 
     1) Music. There's bound to be silence in the beginning as guests arrive. Have some music playing so there isn't that awkward what-do-I-do-now silence and they panic. Don't judge a party by the first half hour.  
     2) Do. Have something for them to do - make food, Wii Just Dance®, swim, water games, etc. 
     3) Record. Put out cameras and video recorders for them to use and catch some of the action. They can replay, relive and laugh about it.

I'm not a big fan of unchaperoned teen parties. I, and other parents, feel a parent should be at the party the whole time. It helps...
     1) your kid avoid being put in an uncomfortable position because of your presence, you can do  a "pass-through" (walking through the room to do something) or "stand-a-few" (just coming in to stand and watch the game, movie, or whatever, for a few minutes, see the photo below) several times during the evening,  
     2) make other kids feel ok that if one of the other kids starts acting lame that the parent will come in and intervene somehow, 
     3) you get to know your kid's friends and they get to know you, and your kid might see that his/her friends think you're kinda cool for letting them have a party.

The first party is the hardest. The unknown always seems to be. But, putting on a party comes off much easier than you think. So don't be afraid. Try these 5 Teen Party Tips and put one on.

What other tips have worked for you and your teen?

The art of manners is a lost art. The Emily Post Institute has created a series of children's books about manners. This is the lasts in their series. I haven't seen these books in person but I think they're a good idea. There is always a need for teaching manners and this looks like an pretty easy way to do it.

Cindy Post Senning (Author), Peggy Post (Author), Steve Bjorkman (Illustrator)

People, especially families, are always looking for ways to keep themselves organized. And the more people you have in a family the more that need grows. If we can take charge of those things we can control then we have more time and energy to devote to being creative. (You can even be creative with your labeling.) Having a family with 8 children, and all of the activities and directions that entails, I have learned a thing, or twenty, about organization. 

WHY?
• When everyone uses things, not just the mom, they need to know where to find it and then, where to return it
• The more creative you are, the more stuff there seems to be, you want to find it to use it
• When it's time to clean up, anyone can clean because they know where things go
• You can see if something is empty or out quickly before shopping
• It slows the need for you, personally, to look for something someone else needs, you can teach self-sufficiency by sending them to the box labeled...

WHAT?
• Anything
• Everything

HOW?
• For starters, just take one small area, the one that drives you crazy the most, organize and label that stuff
• Use vinyl letters, printer paper & tape, magnetic cut outs, heck, I even use masking tape and a marker (especially if I am not sure how I want to label something and want to wait and see if it works)
• For non-readers, take a photo or draw a picture to use as the label
• Use color coding if you have numerous items in one category (my studio tools and stuff are lime green)
• If you store a container on a shelf label all sides that might end up showing. If you only label one side, then inevitably, that is the side that will get put away facing the wall where no one can read it. The extra effort for all sides is worth it.

Don't think this is the Magic-Now-Everyone-Will-Put-Everything-Away-Pill. But, it leaves little excuse for the "I don't know where to find it" or "I don't know where it belongs" crutches. It will still require some reshaping of patterns and habits but this is the start.  

We have a house where everyone is involved - cooking, cleaning, creating. So, stuff is flying around all the time. This has helped us a little. Hope this bitesized organize helps you.  

People need proof. Especially in this day and age. It's not good enough to "feel" something is right or beneficial, you have to show it is. Art is one of those things that has always fallen in the "feel" category. Until recently.

People have wondered, "Why do we need Art?" and proof comes in handy, particularly in an economy that stretches resources. Semir Zeki, Professor of Neurobiology and Neuroaesthetics at University College London has researched brain activity of those viewing art.

"There have been very significant, new advances, in our understanding of what happens in our brain, when we look at works of art. We have recently found that when we look at things which we consider to be beautiful, the activity in the pleasure and reward centers of our brain goes up. There's a lot of dopamine, which is also known as the feel-good neurotransmitter, in these areas. So, essentially, basically, the feel-good centers, if you like, are being stimulated. 

We have looked at the activity in different brain areas by putting people in a scanner and showing them pictures. When they experience beauty, there are areas of the brain which activity goes up significantly. It's also released, for example, in a state of love and desire, so that in a sense, it induces a feel-good factor."  
                                                                The Independent, 9 May 2011, Video: Scientist: Art inspires feelings of love

To sum up - 
       • Beautiful artwork stimulates the pleasure-reward centers in our brains
       • Dopamine, a feel-good transmitter, is being stimulated in our brains when 
              we see beautiful art
       • Feelings of pleasure, love and desire are induced when we view art that we 
              consider beautiful

So, there you have it. Proof if you needed it. 

Surrounding yourself and family with images that you consider beautiful will enhance the happiness of those around you. Here are a few paintings that have given me great pleasure. What are some of yours?

The Boyfriend surprised me the other day. That can be hard to do after almost 29 years of marriage. And knowing him for 33 years. He told me that his middle school art won the contest and was in the Los Angeles County Fair. I remember this fair as a girl and loved it.) How can you not tell an artist you had your art exhibited as a kid? Yeah, I know, he failed me there. 

We also talked about art projects we did as kids. How we remembered distinctly doing them. He went off - talking about the feel of the paints while he finger painted, how he really enjoyed it and how it delighted him. He was kind of giddy. This was just weird to listen to, he sounded like me. Which is so not like him, to be like me. But, I totally knew what he was talking about from my own finger painting experiences. 

It's got me thinking about things. Again. But, while I think, do you have any childhood projects that you remember doing? 

Here's one of mine. An early elementary school art project I did. I remember very distinctly being disgusted that I went too far in playing with the colors on top and smearing them. I wanted to do a new one, that's how unhappy I was about it.

Love this charming, clever idea for business cards from Juicy Bits. Jessica (of Juicy) says, "I'm weirdly proud of them and simultaneously a little embarrassed by them.It's sort of like shouting out to the world "please read my diary!" Um, does anyone care?" I wouldn't be one bit embarrassed shouting with these business cards that "I'm a Creative" and look at what I do. Any other creative biz cards out there?

via Babble.com's EKSARRAN

DIY Wedding Favors • Children's Chalkboard Bags • In our planning the Groom mentioned that he had 35 nieces and nephews. 35! And most of them live locally and would be attending the wedding. So, we made sure we thought of them and did a couple of things. This was one of them and it's a totally easy project.

Supplies:
100 Wilton white favor bags (6" x 3.75") - approx $5
Adhesive backed chalkboard paper, 1 roll (like Contact® paper) - approx $8
Chalk (broken in half) - $.01 box of 12 found online somewhere

How to:
1) I cut the chalkboard adhesive back paper with a paper cutter. Peeled and placed it.
2) Stamped bird with white ink. We had to dap with a tissue to dry it out.
3) Hot glued a tiny branch found from the yard.
4) Placed chalk piece inside.

They could also use it to put treats in. Glad we did it.

Put these votives in the birdhouse windows on the wedding favor table. Here's the how-to -

Supplies: 
Basic Elements 16 unfilled Votive holders found @ Michael's - approx $10
18 battery operated "candles" @ WalMart - approx $15
A few sheets of velum printed on my ink jet printer - approx $2

How-to
Type quotes in a document
Print on velum, one sheet at a time
Cut, trim to size of votives

Today was round 3 of the engagement photos I've taken for my children. I'm not a photographer but I'm artsy and a DIY-er and I'm pretty cheap, like, free for them. So it works. Plus they get to tell me what they want. Sometimes they get it. Here's a photo of each couple.  

Here's the tip I want to contribute in photographing out of doors - watch for snakes. Unless of course you like them. Which I don't . Especially those inches from me. Luckily we had enough photos because that killed my creativity.

In the last photo, it shows a moment in which my daughter is mine in name only. I have never picked up a snake in my life. Never intend to. I do the screaming and jumping away. That's my job. Oh, and cropping, color correcting and coming up with engagement photos.