I wanted to share my word for the year. I know it’s March but I’ve been dragging my feet on sharing it. Let me backtrack and tell you why.
A couple of years back I chose the word, “Flourish.” I was pretty excited by it. I had big ideas and plans for it. I had lunch with friends often, consulted with another artist about my art work, consulted with a friend and came up with a new business direction and plan and I was generally on the road to expanding and flourishing.
Then, my husband lost his job. Even thought we were on a single income I didn’t really think much about it because he’s highly employable and has always had a job. I thought it’d take a week or two to him to find somewhere else to work. It ended up being six months and it was rough. We even moved out and prepped our house to sell. My word for the year - flourish - wilted and died.
Five and a half months into joblessness and it was New Year’s Eve. I couldn’t bring myself to pick a new word because of how much the last one had imploded. I just didn’t want one. And the following year I felt the same and didn’t want one.
So after a couple of years of not having a word, picking one was a big deal for me. Then once I picked it I didn’t want to share. When the word is put out there it’s so public. You’re exposed and accountable. Your outcome tells the story. What if it was a big bust like before?
My 2019 New Year’s Resolution Word is - SUCCESS. Then the crippling questions went off. What if I had another crash and burn year? As a side note, I don’t feel like I’m a complete failure at life in general. I feel really good about my life but there are a couple of areas I feel could be more. But what is the opposite of success? What would I have to report on if success wasn’t working? Failure. And failing isn’t fun.
So what gave me the extra push to announce my word? It was another question. If I’m afraid to say out loud that I’m seeking success then how successful is that?! You can’t hide and feel successful. Those two words don’t seem to fit together comfortably. So, it’s out there now. I’ll see where success take me this year.